If Helmet Begins to Smoke, Seek Shelter & Cover Head with Hands...
At our local thrift store yesterday, my sister and I found this gem:
The Helmet of Certain Death!™
I can't remember who first noticed the disclaimer, since we both fell down laughing. Luckily, neither of us was wearing the helmet when this happened, so we both survived the experience.
You know, when your helmets warrant a safety advisory, maybe it's time to get start manufacturing something less, oh, life-threatening.
posted by eireann @ 10:01 PM
122 Comments:
aw gosh, erin. you don't get enough comments.
from one 29 year old canuck to another -- keep blogging! we're reading, even if we're not commenting.
It's a Cooper SK100. This design dates back to the early 1970s. Currently used in Irish hurling.
Hah hah... he said "hurling"!
I am amazed at how well that disclaimer's written! No glaring errors, not even misplaced punctuation. Not bad for Made in China. (Made out of China?)
Still the same Anonymous... (O3) -- I withdraw previous praise. I looked it over again and the punctuation has gaping holes (not unlike the head of the unfortunates who use this helmet). Bah.
What a nasty, greedy trick: obviously whoever makes the helmet realises that most people glance at the disclaimer stickers, and won't notice that it *doesn't* comply to the various acronyms until it's too late.
The fact that the disclaimer mentions the CSA makes me think it was put there by the CSA or some other official body (something to do with customs?)
My theory about the improper spacing: LOOK AT HOW MUCH TEXT THERE IS. Putting proper spaces in would make them run out of helmet to put the sticker on! ;)
So what they're trying to tell us is...
It's a hat.
Hey, perhaps this is a SMOKING helmet! Cigarettes include similar warning labels here in the U.S., all but promising disease and death.
Strap this baby on your head and light up.
This is what is known as a "novelty helmet" aka a brain bucket. Many motorcyclists actually do wear these things, although a baseball cap would probably give you better protection, eh?
"Do not taunt Happy Fun Helmet."
eireann said...
"My theory about the improper spacing: LOOK AT HOW MUCH TEXT THERE IS. Putting proper spaces in would make them run out of helmet to put the sticker on!"
I disagree as the improper spacing is not uniform. Why have it some places, but not in others? The answer is bad grammar. -)
This warning is on the helmet for a good reason. :)
First off, it isn't an ice hockey helment. It doesn't even pretend to be one. That won't stop people from looking at it, buying it and putting it on their kids.
Wayne Gretzky, "The Great One" when playing in the NHL was famouse for wearing a light weight, roller skate helmet made by Jofa. He got away with it because in the NHL, players got to choose which ones they wore.
It became famous because it didn't meet safety requirements for children and they all wanted to look like Wayne. Hence the extra large warnings. Nothing like parents purchasing a roller skating helmet (to stop the begging) and putting it on a kid to go play ice hockey to shake people up. I seem to remember that there were some pretty severe head and spinal injuries.
Sometimes the warnings really are needed. :)
Jason
That's great! I purchased a little AM/FM radio with built in headphones as a stocking stuffer for my daughter this past Christmas and I didn't notice until I was putting it out that it had a warning sticker on it that mentioned the wires were poisonous and shouldn't be handled. At least in California. Fortunately, I'm in Colorado so it's not as lethal I suppose.
Hey Collin,
I bought a Belkin Media Reader for my iPod before Xmas, and it came with oh-so-appealing warnings about lead content and possible birth defects from handling. I know they have to put the warning on, but I find the warning less ridiculous than the proffered non-sequitur-ish solutions. (i.e. In the Media Reader case, it was "wash hands after handling.")
In defense of the helmet, it could be simply that the manufacturers/importers didn't want to file the paperwork/pay the fees to have it certified. You should be able to tell if it's any good just by feeling it.
You know, if it met the HECC and NOCSAE standards, I might consider buying it. But it doesn't even meet the ANSI Z90 standard! I mean, be serious.
Reminds me of the warning label I read on our (then) new coffee maker: "Do not leave plugged in when not in use." It then went into detail about how to set it up to brew automatically saying that it needed to be left plugged in for it to work.
I think I wore this helmet in a former life.
It's a hockey helmet eh? It's only designed to protect your head from flying pucks and suchlike. If your head flies into anthing, you're screwed!
I used to have one, played goalie in it even. What I love most about it, its square.
Ha Ha HA!
I guess that this is the protection from a lawsuit that this helmet is bound to make. Still, it's funny.
As a response to eireann, most all electronics contain lead. The chips contain lead, the board contains lead, the sloder is a tin-lead alloy. It shouldn't hurt you unless you crack the case. Even then, the amounts of lead are miniscule.
BTW: EVERYTHING is known to cause either birth defects or cancer inthe state of California. It's a California thing, learn to laugh at it.
Basically they are saying its a hat.
This helmet is not really the Cooper helmet. It is a copy though. 15 years ago this same unit was around, but imported from Czechsolvakia. Usually onlyl avaliable for children.
Good disclaimer, but not unique to Chinese merchandise. Check almost any software warrantee disclaimer. Convert it to plain language and you will see that the software author states that it is worthless and without any known use whatsoever. If someone else happens to find a use for the software that is entirely the business of the user, and they are on their own.
Last weekend I had to watch a man die who was wearing one of these novelty helmuts. As we were driving down a rural road North of Duvall WA. a tree fell on to the road just behind the vehicle I was driving. The motorcycle behind me was following a safe distance and we were both obeying the speed limit but he was not able to stop before hitting the tree. He flew forward and landed on his head. The novelty helmut he was wearing slid forward and cut off his nose. It also didn't protect him in any way from the injuries he sustained to his head and neck other than keeping most of the pieces in one pile. I believe that had he been wearing a "real" helmut first, there would not have been the masive blood letting. He survived at least until the ambulance arrived but I believe he more or less bled to death because of the damage this helmut did to him aside from the accident itself. These helmuts should be banned and the manufactures lined up against a wall and ...... well ok procecuted for mass murder. Their product has given many riders the false sense of safety when it has actually contributed to their demise.
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