Put The Book Down & Move AWAY From The Stovepipe Hat...

Oh dear God, did I have some fun with this: Bush Harks Back to Lincoln's Example

So he chose the opening a presidential library versus attending a commemoration in Oklahoma City? It's hard to dumb down to W's level to figure out what was going through his famously thick head, but it may just be as simple as "library=me look smart". Or possibly he still can't come to terms with terrorist acts perpetrated by white Americans (The Iraqi people would like to point out the irony of that).

Bush sought to draw a connection between Lincoln's efforts to expand the concept of liberty by abolishing slavery and America's current initiatives to promote democracy in Iraq, Afghanistan and other countries with authoritarian pasts. To that, I say BWAAAA HA HA HA! The connection is CHAINS; but Abe went the unshackling route, whereas W and his new AG have been gleefully clapping them on anyone who dares dissent to his administration.

Bush, who has called Lincoln his favorite president... Wonder how Bush41 feels about that? And, seriously, how much longer before it becomes the vogue to call Nixon the greatest prez in history?

"In a small way, I can relate to the Rail-Splitter from out West, because he had a way of speaking that was not always appreciated by newspapers back East." *sigh* Lincoln was considered a country bumpkin by those educated Easterners who followed his inauguration and first troubled years as President , but they soon learned to appreciate his intelligence and wit. I love the descriptiveness of this quote recounting an early Lincoln speech to the East: "When Lincoln rose to speak, I was greatly disappointed. He was tall, tall--oh, how tall! and so angular and awkward that I had, for an instant, a feeling of pity for so ungainly a man....But pretty soon he began to get into his subject; he straightened up, made regular and graceful gestures; his face lighted as with an inward fire; the whole man was transfigured. I forgot his clothes, his personal appearance, and his individual peculiarities. Presently, forgetting myself, I was on my feet with the rest, yelling like a wild Indian, cheering this wonderful man." Compare and contrast, if you will, with W's performance in the less-than-historical Bush-Kerry debate; here we have his "regular and graceful gestures" (and some would argue he never did "get into his subject.")

Obama, the only African American in the 100-member Senate, said Lincoln "was not a perfect man nor a perfect president." By contemporary standards, his condemnation of slavery seemed tentative, Obama said, and he sometimes yielded to political pressures. Good for Barack. Virtually since April 15th, 1865, Lincoln has been championed in cariacature, and is very rarely seen as the shades-of-gray character he actually was. Calling him The Great Emancipator, for instance, is a lot easier than calling him The Guy Who Freed Slaves Then Tried To Ship Them Off To Liberia.

Granted, the out-of-sight-out-of-mind trick is such a band-aid solution it just might appeal to W's sense of simplicity (note: you can even remove "sense of", there). Imagine solving "the gay issue" by deporting them all to some far-off tropical island? Not only would he make America "safe" for all the gun-toting Bible nuts , he'll single-handedly* create the rockin'-est resort destination going... Think of the Presidential library they'll erect there! Man, I wish I had a congressman to write - I'm planning my vacation already!



*(ahem)**

**The preceding smutty double-double-entendre*** of Bush masturbation to thoughts of Gay Gomorrah-land was purely unintentional. Sort of. But just for fun, discuss: Would Lincoln still be his favourite president even if he really was gay?

***Double-double-entendres coming soon to your local Tim Hortons.