Four Score and Seven Slides Ago...

I'm a sucker for these faux-PowerPoint prezos. Today's installment: Lincoln's notes for the Gettysburg Cemetery Dedication.

Still America's Finest News Source

Despite their craptacular new format, I haven't yet given up on The Onion, and it's for reasons like this:

EPA To Drop 'E,' 'P' From Name
WASHINGTON, DC—Days after unveiling new power-plant pollution regulations that rely on an industry-favored market-trading approach to cutting mercury emissions, EPA Acting Administrator Stephen Johnson announced that the agency will remove the 'E' and 'P' from its name. 'We're not really 'environmental' anymore, and we certainly aren't 'protecting' anything,' Johnson said. ''The Agency' is a name that reflects our current agenda and encapsulates our new function as a government-funded body devoted to handling documents, scheduling meetings, and fielding phone calls.' The change comes on the heels of the Department of Health and Human Services' January decision to shorten its name to the Department of Services.

Sometime in the near future, a thesis will be written about when and how the traditional news outlets' punch-pulling ceded their legitimacy to the satirists.