Thursday, March 17, 2005

Memory vs. Reality

My sister and I had a cool experience last weekend; we were invited to a retirement/birthday/goodbye party of a family friend, whom we'd fallen out of touch with decades ago. I'd last seen their daughter, who'd been my friend from preschool to Grade 2, about 22 years ago. Her brother and my sister were ages with each other, but her memories were faint, having been only 3 or 4 when last we'd all met. Funnily enough, the moment we walk into the restaurant, I immediately managed to pick out Jen and Kerry recognised Paul.

But before I could register my amazement of the durability of memory, I was re-introduced to our old babysitter. In my head, the 3-year's old image of Mrs B was of a scary, 18 foot tall matron with a wooden spoon as big as my arm in her hand for paddling us.

27 years later, she's old and gray and barely 5 foot tall. The spoon has long since been retired, but I'm pretty sure she could still whup me...

Small, Medium, Large, Fullscreen - Part I

I love movies. Actually, scratch that. I love good movies. And given that the ratio of films released to ones that are worth seeing is diminishing daily, I depend on trailers to decide which ones will earn my cash.

Many of my friends refuse to watch trailers, for fear of learning too much about the plot, or going into the theatre with expectations that may not be met. In some cases, that's fair. For instance, the American Shaun of the Dead spot showed a secondary character gone zombie, and spoiled what would have been a fun surprise. And Like Water For Chocolate was surprisingly funny and less chick-flicky than you'd expect, given the misleading, saccharine trailer. But my argument is that some trailers reveal enough of the plot, the acting, the writing, and the general style for you to decide if they're worth seeing before forking out your hard-earned money - I'd rather lose the surprise of a small plot point than $14.

Here, then, is the first installment of Small, Medium, Large and Fullscreen. Reviews of the trailers currently running, along with my thoughts, recommendations, and ratings, on a scale of Small, Medium, Large and Fullscreen.

* SMALL = if I can't bring myself to spend an extra minute on the load-time, I'm sure not spending 90 minutes of my life watching the whole movie

* MEDIUM = If it's on TV, I might stop for a minute if there's nothing better on. (NB though, I don't watch TV :D)

* LARGE = Might take a chance on buying the DVD, or see it in a theatre on half-price night.

* FULLSCREEN = A $14 donation to my local cineplex. (Maybe even a bag of M&Ms!)

-- Monster in Law: SMALL
The Home Alone crowd reaches wedding age, and the studios respond accordingly. Man, I'm tired of movies milking cheap laughs from people being cruel to each other. The only surprise with this one is that Ben Stiller is nowhere to be seen...

-- A Lot Like Love: SMALL
The phrase "bad on so many levels" applies here.
Level 1: Ashton Kutcher is still able to find employment.
Level 2: Part of the plot seems recycled from When Harry Met Sally...
Level 3: The ending has probably been revealed (which I hate) when we see "girl" show up at "boy"'s wedding.
Level 4: The laughs aren't funny.
Level 5: They play Avril Lavigne fer cripessake.
Level 6-10: Serenading someone with 15 year old Bon Jovi schmaltz?

-- Bigger Than The Sky: LARGE
This looks rather indie, which in my experience presents some good writing with terrible acting, and generally leaves me a little disappointed. Certainly the lead actor doesn't look strong enough to carry a film. And yet, Cyrano! John Corbett (can I get a fwah?)! Cyrano! Allan Corduner! Cyrano! And a Cyrano (!) where Cyrano actually seems to land his Roxanne! Definitely enough to push this from a MEDIUM to LARGE in my books.

-- In My Country: SMALL
Juliette Binoche is right up alongside Keanu Reeves, Uma Thurman, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Andie McDowell and others on my "kiss of death" list. They're like dementors, sucking out the soul of any movie in which they appear. And this movie doesn't look like it's got much soul to lose.

-- Rory O'Shea Was here: MEDIUM
My Left Foot after Hollywood's "notes" have been applied. Fearless prediction, though: Films that celebrate love of life generally kill off one of their main characters. If anyone goes to see this, tell me if it's Rory or his third-wheel mate...

-- Downfall: FULL
I'm a sucker for war movies, especially ones that make me feel like I'm experiencing the history as it happens. This film particularly intrigues me as its source material is Blind Spot: Hitler's Secretary, a documentary that should have been fascinating, but was instead unwatchable. The dramatization looks to be more promising. (NB have you ever noticed how foreign-language films never have dialogue in their trailers? I was doubly shocked that this one didn't even have subtitles.)

-- Unleashed: MEDIUM
Their filmographies tell me I should have faith in Bob and Morgan, despite what's sure to be unnecessarily graphic violence. Kudos for making a decidedly non-Hollywood film, but this doesn't look like my kind of entertainment.

-- Gunner Palace: LARGE
I liked reality TV before it became a parody of itself. Watching real people react to real situations that are outside my experience has always fascinated me. Something tells me this won't be screened at the White House - they're too busy cutting back Veterans' funding to pay for their Social Security scare ads.

More to come...

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

OK, I Take It Back

I can admit when I'm wrong - suddenly Bono seems like a much wiser choice...

Bush Picks Wolfowitz for New World Bank President:

"President Bush on Wednesday selected Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, a magnet for controversy as one of the leading architects of the Iraq war, as his choice for World Bank president."

So there's a hawk being sent to the UN, and in charge of the cash for developing countries is a guy whose war is costing the US billions of dollars and turning Iraq back into a developing country.

For pudding - drilling for oil in a wildlife refuge.

Hey, George! Stop the handbasket I want to get off!